We're getting ready to fly home to Delmarva (Delaware-Maryland-Virginia), the land of plentiful Wal-Marts and Targets, where everything costs 50% less than London prices!  And also the land of plentiful sun. It was 105F in Baltimore today!  (Just to rub it in, it was 72 and sunny in London today!).  We're looking forward to visiting with family and friends.

The only part of the trip we're NOT thrilled about are the transatlantic flights.  I hate flying. No, I have no fear of flying. I just hate the whole process of flying. We have to leave our flat at least 3.5 HOURS before our flight, giving ourselves enough time to make the 1 hour train ride to the airport plus additional time for any potential train delays, employee strikes, etc. We always check-in online, but you still have to stand in queue to turn in your bags, queue for security, subject yourself to invasive pointless searches involving confiscation of deadly hand lotions and water bottles, stand in queue for immigration & passport controls, stand around waiting for your flight to be called, get herded into a little pig pen at the gate, stand around and wait some more until boarding starts, queue on the jetway, queue in the aisles, sit around waiting for stragglers, then the entire plane queues up on the runway!   

But wait, there's more. Now you sit around for 7 hours, maybe watch a bad film (movie edited for the feeble-minded), eat a crap lunch, maybe sleep if a 400-pound man hasn't taken up the seat and armrest next to you, pay $5 for a crap weak American beer.  On approaching Washington Dulles Airport, the plane queues up in the sky, circling the airport until it can land. Finally on the ground, and more lines: queue to get off the plane, queue up for the stupid People Mover vehicle to get to the terminal, queue up at the luggage carousel, queue up at the taxi stand or car rental shop. Queues Queues Queues. 

Then there's the whole issue of airline ticket pricing. The base fare of my roundtrip airline ticket from London to Washington was $681.85.  Then the airline adds on a bunch of other miscellaneous charges. Check out this breakdown of my airline ticket, according to the receipt:

--BASE FARE: $681.85 RT
--Fuel surcharge: $119.34 ($59.67 each way)
--US international arrival tax: $15.10
--US international departure tax: $15.10
--United Kingdom air passengers duty: $79.55 (*A controversial tax recently added under the guise of fighting global warming)
--US immigration: $7.00
--US animal & plant health inspection service: $5.00
--US customs user fee: $5.50
--US passenger facility charge: $4.50
--September 11 security fee: $2.50
--United Kingdom passenger service charge: $15.91
TOTAL AIRFARE: $951.68

That's right. My $951.68 ticket includes $269.83 in taxes and fees. That's 30% of the total cost of the ticket. THIRTY! FRACKING! PERCENT!  I can't think of many products or companies that gouge their customers with 30% markup in extraneous fees, and can legally get away with it. In the airline's defense, many of these fees are imposed by the governments.  But these too are ridiculous. Why do I need to pay for animal and plant inspections if I am bringing neither on the plane?  Or what about customs and security?  Don't our taxes go to fund these programs?  What the hell is a passenger service charge? You mean I have to pay to step foot into your lousy airport? Who comes up with this crap!?!