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Dubya's Happy Feet

Four Weddings and a can of beans

0425_hugh_grant_inf I've covered some crazy celebrities stories in my career. But just when I thought I've seen it all, along comes Hugh Grant.  The star of such cheezy British romantic comedies as "Notting Hill" and "Bridget Jones Diary" was arrested Wednesday night for assaulting a photographer WITH A TUB OF BAKED BEANS. Yes, you heard it right. Grant's weapon of choice was a Tupperware container of beans. 

The bizarre incident took place Tuesday morning outside Grant's home in the posh London neighborhood of Chelsea.  Photographer Ian Whittaker says he was in Chelsea to snap a photo of Grant's ex girlfriend, Elizabeth Hurley, who lives two doors down from Grant.  The actor was returning for a morning jog when the photographer spotted him and asked to pose for a photo. Instead, Grant went berserk, kicking the photographer, kneed him in the groin, and said he hoped the photographer's children would die of cancer!  That's when things got ugly and Grant hurled the weapon of mass destruction at the papparrazo.

I don't question why he did it. Like many celebs, he probably just got fed up with the paparazzi for the last time. The big unanswered question is: Why was Grant carrying a tub of baked beans while jogging?  Does he normally carry fruit and veg while jogging past double-decker buses and black cabs?  Did he have the tub stuffed down his pants?  Is it always beans, or does he carry other produce whilst jogging as well?!

Personally, I would have flung a custard pie. Or red wine. Or maybe some rotten eggs. Or toilet paper rolls.

I should note that baked beans are a staple of the British diet. They are a mandatory part of a proper full English breakfast. And beans on toast are to British university students as Ramen noodles are to American college students.

But still...baked beans? Come on Hugh!  As if you needed another reason to look like a wuss!

GOOD NEWS:  Mrs. Crab passed her preliminary UK teaching observation yesterday with flying colors!  Her last observation will be in mid-May.  If things go well, Mrs. Crab will soon be the proud recipient of a UK qualified teaching certificate.

SHOUT OUT:  Mr. Crab went out with a group of London freelance reporters last night and got quite pissed.  A quick shout-out to John, who I hear is stalking us through this blog!  I'm still not sure how I made it home. But I somehow managed to crawl to the proper bus stop, board the proper bus, alight at the proper spot and get into the proper flat.   And believe you me, I felt it this morning. But nothing that could not be cured by a greasy English breakfast...with baked beans, of course.